im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
