I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Randomize
