Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
