just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize