I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Man, jail baloney is awful.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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