I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
