hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
