Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
MIDGETS
????
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
