OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
