how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
The police scanner is talking about you again....
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
God, I missed his penis.
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