So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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