That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize