By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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