rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
