does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
