The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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