Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize