I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
