I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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