Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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