Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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