I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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