The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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