I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
