I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
