My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize