he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
