What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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