Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
