thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
