I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
