You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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