Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
