Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
