New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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