omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
