also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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