It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
