Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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