You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
