We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
