I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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