I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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