Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I skipped work to stalk him.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i dont even know how to be here
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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