I wanna bring you to show and tell
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
