As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
