2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
