The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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