i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
