I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
