either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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