White coat. Heels.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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