cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
