I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
