Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
