My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Do vagina's smell?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
