I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
