you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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