3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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