Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
