im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
