the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
